How to Break the Shame after Panic Attacks Cycle

The Burden of Shame with Panic Attacks

Panic attacks are overwhelming on their own, but for many people, the hardest part comes afterward. While its difficult to be vulnerable and talk about the shame or embarrassment you may feel after a panic attack, especially in public, it is important to recognize that you are not alone and that this is actually more common than you may think. Different thoughts such as “Why couldn’t I control myself?” or “What will people think of me?” show that there is a hidden layer of self-judgment that can actually fuel another wave of anxiety.

The good news? Shame doesn’t have to define your recovery. With compassion-based tools and grounding practices, you can break the cycle and start seeing panic attacks not as proof of weakness, but as moments your body is trying to protect you.

I am not a medical professional by any means, but as someone who has personally dealt with this issue for years and has discovered how to overcome the lingering embarrassment after having a panic attack, I want to share what has helped me and can hopefully help you as well.

Why Panic Attacks Often Trigger Shame

Shame and panic attacks are deeply intertwined. Panic is a survival response, but when it shows up in public or in daily life, many people feel embarrassed, weak, or “broken.” That self-criticism then fuels more anxiety, creating what’s known as the shame–anxiety loop.

• Shame fuels self-criticism: “I just showed others that I am struggling.”

• Self-criticism spikes anxiety: “What if it happens again?”

• Anxiety fuels more panic: restarting the cycle.

Understanding this loop is the first step to breaking it.

Why Compassion Is the Key, Not Criticism

When shame says, “you’re weak,” compassion responds: “you’re human.” Self-compassion is about giving yourself the same kindness you’d offer a friend.

Here’s how compassion rewires the loop:

• It creates emotional safety, lowering the threat response that fuels panic.

• It replaces judgment with curiosity, shifting from “I’m broken” to “my body is protecting me in overdrive.”

• It makes recovery sustainable, because beating yourself up never builds resilience.

Grounding Tools to Use in the Moment

When shame strikes during or after a panic attack, you need quick tools to ground yourself. Try these techniques:

• 5-Senses Grounding: Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. For this reason, I created the original all-natural, hard sour candy with adaptogens and vitamin D to help ground yourself during a panic attack. If you are interested, you can find the product here.

• Posture Shift: Shame makes us feel small. Trick your brain into not feeling this way by sitting upright and looking confident. This will signal to your brain that you are safe.

• Writing a list of your values to remember who you are: This is one of my favorite strategies. Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down your core values. Some of mine include confidence, creativity, authenticity, etc. By doing this, it reminds you brain who you really are, and that your panic attacks and shame are not a part of your values and do not make up who you are as a person.

Long-Term Strategies for Breaking the Cycle

While grounding helps in the moment, long-term tools can break the shame spiral for good:

1. Journaling: Track when shame shows up after panic and rewrite the story. Go back to journaling and writing down your values, your favorite things about yourself, anything that will remind you that you are not "broken".

2. Therapeutic Support (CBT, exposure therapy): Therapy has been the biggest help for me in regard to overcoming anxiety. It helps you truly understand what is happening and why it is an internal feeling that can actually be overcame. 

3. Compassion Rituals/Self-Care: Daily practices like affirmations, breathing, or even placing any anxiety grounding tools you have within reach to remind yourself you’re supported.

4. Connection: Talking openly about panic attacks with safe people reduces isolation and dissolves shame’s power. This has made the worlds difference for me. I used to be ashamed and fearful to speak about my panic attacks. Now, they have no power against me because I am no longer afraid to share my experience.

You’re Not Alone!

The truth is, millions experience panic attacks, but shame convinces us to hide. When you treat yourself with compassion instead of criticism, you’re reclaiming your story AND calming your nervous system.

Panic doesn’t mean you’re broken. Shame doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human, and with the right tools, you can break free and move forward.

If you’ve struggled with shame after panic attacks, know that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to fight it in silence. Explore more tools, resources, and strategies on our blog to start building a calmer, more compassionate relationship with yourself.